Mt. Redoubt on March 31, 2009 about 1:00 pm local Alaska time
After all, it's gonna be anyway! Any "surprises" haven't really been that surprising, past the initial "whoa" factor.
The "Economic Downturn" came to roost at our house also; and we really hadn't expected to be hit so directly. Sure, we expected inflation, which was kindly provided us in January (during a 3-week record cold ) when our natural gas and electric bills jumped 20%+ between them providing us with nearly $1,000 in utility expenses that month. And that doesn't include the 2 cords of wood we burnt... and were STILL cold! We layered - jackets, robes and blankets - and curled up on the couch and on the floor near the wood stove.
Then there came a lovely Chinook that brought our January thaw. The kids were so used to bundling up that the boys were out at the church lawn playing football in short sleeves and shorts when the temps shot up 70 degrees to a whole 45 Fahrenheit. Yes, it was that cold before the heat wave!
A more normal winter followed, making February typically lo-o-ong. I'm so grateful it really only has 28 days (most years). Every year February is Survivor Month. It doesn't help that one of my kids has anniversary trauma that starts every January and goes for a month, usually clearing by the end of February. It is HARD... on everybody... but I have to remember it's far harder on that kiddo. It's getting better. Each year, a little better. According to the specialists, it will take at least 8 years... so we only have 5 more to go. Maybe less if the healing started before coming home to Alaska.
So, here we are, on the last day of March, and I had a lovely morning watching the sun rise over the mountain from my living room window. It's been a peaceful day, despite the talk with the Middle School counselor about one of my boys. I will drop off the two younger boys at one of the Godmother's houses and head over to the school for a meeting. We're trying to avoid having to bring said kiddo back into homeschooling. We know he really doesn't want to; but he's been made clearly aware that if certain things don't improve, he will leave us no other option. Of course he thinks his social life will disappear. And yes, he won't have peers to fill up those dull moments inbetween classes... and thoughts. He won't have the herd to make it where he doesn't have to think quite as hard. And frankly, it's a bit of a bennie to me to not have to be "directing" another child's education at home. I'm tired. I wish I wasn't, but I am. I'm tired, and ready to be a REtired homeschooling mom. I say this as I sit next to my youngest and directing his math practice, & checking over Josiah's answers to his word problems.
So, Lent brought a decrease in Vic's work hours. On one hand, this was a blessing. Vic has been exhausted, and not very healthy for months. He has really NEEDED this time to get things in his life caught up and actually get to bed at a decent hour. But, there has been a downside: a 30% decrease in take home pay. No, we cannot begin to afford that. Of course my first thought is that I need to go back to work, even if just temporarily. I constantly have this underlying guilt of not pulling my weight financially, even though, intellectually, I know that I am doing what I should and what my family needs me to do for them. Yes, it's affected by having been sick since Christmas Day (I am DONE with so stupidly passing my limits!), and it's not as much as we would like... but it cannot be quantified with a paycheck.
Therefore, prayer was the answer. And, as is all too common, I didn't particularly like the answer... "wait". More precisely, what was laid upon my heart was, "Don't make any big changes during Lent." Funny, it has taken Vic reminding me of this to keep me from truly jumping ship and putting in an application or running down to my favorite temp agency and getting myself to work again. Then again, it also helps when the leg is swelling and I'm too nauseated by my current bout with my liver health to do so!
Fortunately, I continue to improve a little each day. I cannot exercise very easily yet, to get the strength back from being ill for an extended period of time; but finally broke down and got an appointment with the orthoped doc for the 22nd of April. Another piece of GREAT news is that this very same doc finally broke ranks with the other specialists in his field and became a provider for BCBS, which is our insurance company.
This brings me to why I had to stop taking care of my medical issues... insurance! We don't have a network here, and in one place our policy states that our non-network providers will be paid at the same rate, with a limit on our out-of-pocket expenses being $2,750 per person. HowEVER, somewhere else (somewhere that counts, apparently) it states that limit to be $15,ooo. Uhh, just a bit of a discrepancy there, and not one that we can remotely afford. Convoluted craziness.
There has been, however, a gift from God in the form of a BCBS customer service agent that has taken us under her wing and has been working hard to unravel whatever she could. We're still stuck with the EEG interpreting neurologist charges of $700 and only getting $56 covered by insurance. Yes, that's fifty-six dollars... not five-hundred sixty. The word that comes to mind is "agog", as in anxious more than enthralled and happy excitement.
On top of that, it has been suggested that I get my needed procedures done out-of-state. ("Need a vacation?" the service agent asked). I would get more for my money by paying for my own transportation and going to a doc and a surgical center that would be covered. More craziness.
Steamy Redoubt
And, as Lent continues to be Lent... and I once again am panicking with thoughts that I MUST go back to work! we get the news yesterday of what's going on with Isaac's teeth. Sure, they could use braces, but it didn't look like any kind of emergency going on. That is, until you get a gander at the x-rays and see the adult bicuspids that came in HORIZONTALLY and are threatening to grind out the roots of the upper front 4 teeth. THAT would be a lovely gap and help him look like Beuford Bofus and get him far in life. To do the surgery required to attach the wires needed to pull those papas down into place and the related orthodontic work, we're looking at a price tag of over $6,000. WH-AAAT?!?
And it needs to be started as soon as possible. Jeepers.
SO, it's mantra time... "It's only Lent... it will all be over in 3 more weeks... it's only Lent..." Of course we know it really won't be over, but don't deny me my fantasy. It keeps me going.
Speaking of going... so must I. Time to go meetin' at the Middle School. Errgh... what's not to love about those? But it's a beautiful day... blue skies, no ash in sight. Reboubt volcano continues to percolate, but it's mostly steam with very little ash for now.
Redoubt Eruption March 27 2009 from Bretwood Higman on Vimeo.
After all, it's gonna be anyway! Any "surprises" haven't really been that surprising, past the initial "whoa" factor.
The "Economic Downturn" came to roost at our house also; and we really hadn't expected to be hit so directly. Sure, we expected inflation, which was kindly provided us in January (during a 3-week record cold ) when our natural gas and electric bills jumped 20%+ between them providing us with nearly $1,000 in utility expenses that month. And that doesn't include the 2 cords of wood we burnt... and were STILL cold! We layered - jackets, robes and blankets - and curled up on the couch and on the floor near the wood stove.
Then there came a lovely Chinook that brought our January thaw. The kids were so used to bundling up that the boys were out at the church lawn playing football in short sleeves and shorts when the temps shot up 70 degrees to a whole 45 Fahrenheit. Yes, it was that cold before the heat wave!
A more normal winter followed, making February typically lo-o-ong. I'm so grateful it really only has 28 days (most years). Every year February is Survivor Month. It doesn't help that one of my kids has anniversary trauma that starts every January and goes for a month, usually clearing by the end of February. It is HARD... on everybody... but I have to remember it's far harder on that kiddo. It's getting better. Each year, a little better. According to the specialists, it will take at least 8 years... so we only have 5 more to go. Maybe less if the healing started before coming home to Alaska.
So, here we are, on the last day of March, and I had a lovely morning watching the sun rise over the mountain from my living room window. It's been a peaceful day, despite the talk with the Middle School counselor about one of my boys. I will drop off the two younger boys at one of the Godmother's houses and head over to the school for a meeting. We're trying to avoid having to bring said kiddo back into homeschooling. We know he really doesn't want to; but he's been made clearly aware that if certain things don't improve, he will leave us no other option. Of course he thinks his social life will disappear. And yes, he won't have peers to fill up those dull moments inbetween classes... and thoughts. He won't have the herd to make it where he doesn't have to think quite as hard. And frankly, it's a bit of a bennie to me to not have to be "directing" another child's education at home. I'm tired. I wish I wasn't, but I am. I'm tired, and ready to be a REtired homeschooling mom. I say this as I sit next to my youngest and directing his math practice, & checking over Josiah's answers to his word problems.
So, Lent brought a decrease in Vic's work hours. On one hand, this was a blessing. Vic has been exhausted, and not very healthy for months. He has really NEEDED this time to get things in his life caught up and actually get to bed at a decent hour. But, there has been a downside: a 30% decrease in take home pay. No, we cannot begin to afford that. Of course my first thought is that I need to go back to work, even if just temporarily. I constantly have this underlying guilt of not pulling my weight financially, even though, intellectually, I know that I am doing what I should and what my family needs me to do for them. Yes, it's affected by having been sick since Christmas Day (I am DONE with so stupidly passing my limits!), and it's not as much as we would like... but it cannot be quantified with a paycheck.
Therefore, prayer was the answer. And, as is all too common, I didn't particularly like the answer... "wait". More precisely, what was laid upon my heart was, "Don't make any big changes during Lent." Funny, it has taken Vic reminding me of this to keep me from truly jumping ship and putting in an application or running down to my favorite temp agency and getting myself to work again. Then again, it also helps when the leg is swelling and I'm too nauseated by my current bout with my liver health to do so!
Fortunately, I continue to improve a little each day. I cannot exercise very easily yet, to get the strength back from being ill for an extended period of time; but finally broke down and got an appointment with the orthoped doc for the 22nd of April. Another piece of GREAT news is that this very same doc finally broke ranks with the other specialists in his field and became a provider for BCBS, which is our insurance company.
This brings me to why I had to stop taking care of my medical issues... insurance! We don't have a network here, and in one place our policy states that our non-network providers will be paid at the same rate, with a limit on our out-of-pocket expenses being $2,750 per person. HowEVER, somewhere else (somewhere that counts, apparently) it states that limit to be $15,ooo. Uhh, just a bit of a discrepancy there, and not one that we can remotely afford. Convoluted craziness.
There has been, however, a gift from God in the form of a BCBS customer service agent that has taken us under her wing and has been working hard to unravel whatever she could. We're still stuck with the EEG interpreting neurologist charges of $700 and only getting $56 covered by insurance. Yes, that's fifty-six dollars... not five-hundred sixty. The word that comes to mind is "agog", as in anxious more than enthralled and happy excitement.
On top of that, it has been suggested that I get my needed procedures done out-of-state. ("Need a vacation?" the service agent asked). I would get more for my money by paying for my own transportation and going to a doc and a surgical center that would be covered. More craziness.
Steamy RedoubtAnd, as Lent continues to be Lent... and I once again am panicking with thoughts that I MUST go back to work! we get the news yesterday of what's going on with Isaac's teeth. Sure, they could use braces, but it didn't look like any kind of emergency going on. That is, until you get a gander at the x-rays and see the adult bicuspids that came in HORIZONTALLY and are threatening to grind out the roots of the upper front 4 teeth. THAT would be a lovely gap and help him look like Beuford Bofus and get him far in life. To do the surgery required to attach the wires needed to pull those papas down into place and the related orthodontic work, we're looking at a price tag of over $6,000. WH-AAAT?!?
And it needs to be started as soon as possible. Jeepers.
SO, it's mantra time... "It's only Lent... it will all be over in 3 more weeks... it's only Lent..." Of course we know it really won't be over, but don't deny me my fantasy. It keeps me going.
Speaking of going... so must I. Time to go meetin' at the Middle School. Errgh... what's not to love about those? But it's a beautiful day... blue skies, no ash in sight. Reboubt volcano continues to percolate, but it's mostly steam with very little ash for now.
Redoubt Eruption March 27 2009 from Bretwood Higman on Vimeo.
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